


Night Secrets

by ObsidianRomance



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen are mostly done with their college education when Jared has to tell Jensen some unexpected and nerve-wracking news.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: College!J2, mpreg!Jared, schmoop, angst, erroneous feelings of inadequacy, Jensen worshiping (on Jared's part)  
> A/N - Written for Mpregwinchester's Flash Fiction J2 round in response to the following prompt: "In the moonlight"

Stretching out with cat like movements, Jared lays on the plush blanket.  The night air is warm but so much cooler than the brutal heat of day.  A breeze flutters his hair across his face before he has to brush it back because it’s tickling his nose too much.  The grass is still warm beneath his body and the air smells like honeysuckle and something green he can’t put his finger on.

Looking up, he stares at the night sky and remembers when he used to think he knew everything about the moon and the stars and the astral shapes they created.  He barely remembers any of the constellations he used to know by heart after repeated trips to the planetarium.  Still, staring at them is calming and he needs all the help in that department that he can get.

Crossing his arms behind his head, he deepens his stretch and makes a content sigh as his shirt rides up to expose a strip of his belly.

Coming here was a good idea but Jared can’t take credit for it.  He wishes he could because it almost fits too conveniently into what he has planned for tonight.  It’s kind of perfect.  The clearing they’re having their midnight picnic in is secluded and a cliché of every romance movie ever made because there are actually beams of moonlight streaming through the trees, helping to illuminate just enough.

Jensen flops down next to him with a little too much force and lands on his back with a thump.  He’s buzzing with pride at Jared’s seeming approval of his plan as he grins at his boyfriend once before turning to look at the sky.

Jared has no idea how the man still looks like he has sun washing over his cheeks but he blames the freckles for that.  Even in the moonlight he can make out the slight variances in Jensen’s skin.  It’s the wrong time and the last thing he should be thinking about but he very much wants to lick inside Jensen’s mouth and see if he tastes like sunlight – _whatever that tastes like._   He bets that whatever Jensen tastes like right now is probably the taste of summer.

Jensen catches Jared watching and cocks a curious eyebrow at him.  “What?”

Jensen’s green eyes catch enough moonlight to shine and Jared curses himself because now he wants to kiss Jensen all the more.  His boyfriend is wearing this smug little smirk that curves the lines of his face in a way that Jared can only describe with the word sexy.

Kissing Jensen isn’t usually a bad thing.  It’s a dangerous thing; Jared’s learned that for sure.  It’s kind of why he needs to not kiss Jensen right now because he wants to talk to him but he has absolutely no will power and rolls on his side so he can capture Jensen’s lips with his own.

Somehow, the kiss turns into something else entirely and Jensen’s kissing him back with so much power that one would swear the whole kiss was Jensen’s idea in the first place.  He’s got Jared pushed flat to the blanket, palm in the middle of his chest and making sure Jared is his very willing captive while their tongues do no talking whatsoever but have a pretty good battle going on without words.

Jared’s arms are still crossed behind his head and he reaches them out like he’s grasping for something to hold onto so Jensen’s kisses don’t pull him under. 

That proves fruitless when Jensen balances most of his weight on Jared’s torso and puts a hand on each side of Jared’s hips.  He doesn’t break contact as Jensen slides both of his hands up, over the muscles of Jared’s chest and then the defined ones in his arms, until he can grasp at Jared’s hands and lace their fingers together.

Jared moans and gets greedy.  He thinks he should be ashamed of how quickly he’s thrown his original itinerary to the wind but he was nervous as hell about doing that to begin with and kissing Jensen seems much simpler.  He asks more of Jensen’s mouth and decides to go with it.  The night is perfect and moonlight only makes Jensen looks more desirable.  It’s something he should definitely take advantage of.  The night tints Jensen’s whole person with an edge of mystery; even though Jared’s pretty sure he’s figured everything out about Jensen – inside and out. 

Jensen’s voice is rough when he moan’s Jared’s name and the shiver that always runs down Jared’s spine in response makes itself known.  Then Jensen’s hands are on the move again and rucking up Jared’s shirt, fingers strumming against all the familiar cords in Jared’s body.

They kiss for a while longer but the need to breathe sends Jensen rolling off Jared with a smile on his face.  He’s on his back again, body on a slight diagonal so that his and Jared’s heads are still touching.

Jared takes a minute to refocus and stare at the moon.  His chest is still recovering from the awkward breathing the kiss put into motion but the night air feels good as it floods his lung on each deep breath.  He’s going to need to keep breathing if he wants to actually talk to Jensen, which he really should be doing.  He opens his mouth to say something but Jensen beats him to it.

“Two years, huh?”  Jensen turns on his side, head resting on the bicep of an outreached arm.

“What?” Jared’s too dazed to focus on what his boyfriend just said.

“Two years.  We’ve been together two years.  It’s kind of crazy because I feel like I’ve know you forever.” 

Jensen’s smile is electric and Jared mirrors it.  Of course he knows it’s been two years; it’s why they’re out here in the middle of the night, amongst other things.  As a 20 year old, Jared thinks two years seems like a very long time to date.  He knows it is, that it is a long enough time to be with someone and figure out how they fit into your life.  But two years is also hardly any time at all.  He still has a million more things he has to do and two years isn’t long enough to know what you want.  His breathing hitches and he lets out a nervous shudder of breath.

Leaning closer, Jensen props himself up on an elbow and hovers a concerned face over his boyfriend.  “Jared?  Are you okay?  You look like you’re going to be sick or something.”

Stopping the noises he didn’t know he had been making, Jared shakes his head but it comes off too far on the side of unbelievable for it to sooth Jensen’s worries.

“Jared, come on.  I know you’re not okay.  What’s wrong?  I thought you were having a good time tonight?  Was the picnic not enough?  Did you want something _more_?”

Guilt floods Jared’s brain and he feels terrible for making Jensen second guess their anniversary plans.  “Ohh, god, no!  It’s not that.  This is perfect.  I _am_ having a good time.  I love it.  I love you.  It’s perfect.  Trust me; it’s not that.”  Jared smiles and curls a hand around Jensen’s.  Jensen was right about one thing.  He does feel like he is going to be sick and the more he thinks about that the more likely it becomes.  His heart thumps rapidly as he tries to figure out a way to explain things to Jensen.  His boyfriend is looking at him with so much concern and love that he almost backpedals and saves what he wants to say for another day, when the moonlight isn’t making him romanticize things and believe that Jensen will still look at him like that in a few minutes.  He stumbles over a sentence and it comes out uncoordinated and laughable, leaving Jensen to fit it together to make sense of it.  “Senior.  You.  You’re a senior and…Junior.  You’re finishing your undergraduate work and I’m just…see I won’t be a senior till next year…well if I do more than just the fall and spring semesters I can graduate earlier but I still…I’m 20.”

Jensen’s head spins.  “What?”  He laughs but Jared still stares at him with wide nervous eyes and he makes out the jumble of info as best he could.  “Are you worried about that?  You’re worried that I am finishing college a year before you?  Jared, don’t be silly.  We talked about this.  I’m not moving back home after I graduate without you coming too.  I’ll say on here.  Try to get a job or maybe even get a head start in graduate work.  You don’t have to worry about that.  And I’m pretty sure I already know your 20.  That’s why I have to buy all the alcohol.”  Jensen paused but Jared was still staring at him, shaking his head slowly.  “It’s not that?”

“No.”  Swallowing, Jared licked his lips.  “I just…I want you to finish school.”

Brushing a reassuring hand across Jared’s forehead, Jensen pushed his boyfriend’s hair back.  “I’m going to.  What the hell is going on with you?”

“I want to finish school too.”

“Of course you do.  I want you to finish.  Why?  Do you think I don’t want to wait for you to finish.  It’s just one more year, Jared.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Jensen’s face morphs immediately and he chokes on an exhale of air.  His eyes look wide and round with shock.  “Excuse me?”

“I’m pregnant.”  Repeating the same phrase doesn’t change anything but Jared doesn’t have the courage to say more.  He’s at least gotten that fact out.  Jensen’s at least still conscious and staring at him.  Jared had passed out, which he’d thought only happened in movies but apparently knocked up college students as well.

Jensen swallows once before his lips form silent words.  All he gets out is, “and you…it’s–”

“It’s yours.”

Jensen scoffs like he can’t believe what Jared just said.  “Of course it’s mine.”

“What?”  The earnestness in Jensen’s words takes Jared back for a moment.  Jensen’s shockingly more okay with this than he’d originally thought.

“Of course it’s mine, Jared.  I’m your boyfriend.  Who else’s would it be?”

“I just…I thought…I didn’t want you to think….”  Jared’s words trail off and he bites his lip to stifle a cry.  He can’t help from thinking of himself of some whore even though he’s merely been sexually active in a committed relationship.  But he feels dirty and _wrong_ and there must have been some crossroad where he messed up because everything feels _bad._

“Oh god, Jared…you thought I would think that?  Seriously?  You can’t really believe I’d think it wasn’t mine.  You and me?  We’ve been the only ones in each other’s bed for a long time.  I know that.  I know you.  Jesus, Jared….you’re…you’re like…you’re it for me.  I don’t want anyone else in my bed and unless I’ve read every one of your signs wrong, then I think you feel the same way.  I didn’t think I was wrong about that.”

“You’re not!  You’re not wrong.  I just…I dunno.  I’m not thinking straight.  I’m…”  Jared knit his eyebrows and shrugs.  “I’m really messed up right now, okay?  This is kind of like…the most adult thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t feel very much like an adult.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”  Jared huffs and sits upright.  “Why are you not freaking out?”

“I am freaking out.  I am freaking the fuck out.”  Jensen taps his head.  “In here?  It’s chaos.  I’m just trying to hold it in so…I dunno…so that you don’t freak out.”  Sitting up, he scratches at the back of his head while looking at Jared.  “Why?  Do you want me to stop holding it?”

“Yes!  Maybe!  I dunno!  It would make feel like less of an idiot for being so nervous about telling you this tonight.  I didn’t want to ruin everything because….because…”  Jared wrings his hands and sighs.  He looks at the moon, takes a deep breath and returns his gaze to Jensen.  “Because tonight is really nice and if we never have any of this again I didn’t want to ruin it before I got to enjoy every moment of it.”

Jensen’s brain has trouble reading between Jared’s lines and it shows all over his face.  “Why wouldn’t we have a date like this again?”

“Jen, I love you but taking care of a kid is a big deal.  I can’ force you to choose that path.  I don’t want to do that.  It’s a huge responsibility and I don’t want to hold you back.  You have plans.  I know about all of them.  _We’ve talked about all of them_.  Being a dad at 21…well, 22 by the time it’s born…that isn’t one of your plans.  It isn’t mine either but…”

“Plans change, Jared.”

“Clearly.”  Jared lets out a snort.  “But I don’t want to be the reason for that.  Okay?  I can’t.  If my life is fucked up, then fine.  But I can’t expect you to fuck up your life too.”  Jared pulls back and finds the blanket suddenly fascinating.  It is much easier to look at that the way Jensen’s eyes quiver with hurt.  His brain isn’t thinking quickly enough to figure out why Jensen’s looking at him like a wounded animal so he settles on thinking Jensen’s disappointed in him.

Jensen keeps his distance for the moment.  “What do you wanna do?  Do you wanna have it?”

“If it didn’t exist I would say ‘no’.  But it’s here now,” he subconsciously touches his middle, “and I can’t get rid of it.  Please don’t ask me to get rid of it.”

Jensen moves so fast that Jared doesn’t recognize how close they’ve gotten until Jensen’s arms are around his back and crushing them together.  They’re so close that Jared can feel Jensen’s heart hammering faster than his own and he picks up on Jensen’s crying.  It’s a soft sob that he’s heard once or twice before, the one he makes when he is relieved.

“I’d never ask you to do that.  I don’t want you to get rid of it.  It’s a part of you.  Sure, it’s a part of me but more importantly it’s a part of you and I love you.”  Jensen’s hands are roaming over his back, holding him close and roaming over him like he is trying to make sure Jared is real and that he isn’t going anywhere.

Jensen’s crying pushes Jared over the edge.  He lets a tear squeak out but quickly wipes it away with the back of his hand.  “Jen, I’m only 20.  We both haven’t finished school.  We can barely afford to take care of ourselves.”

“I know.”

“It’s going to be hard.  Shit, I can’t even figure out how having a baby in my life is going to work.”  The sick feeling is back in Jared’s gut and all he can picture is not being good enough to be called a parent.

“Yeah, I know.  It’s going to be really hard.”  Jensen lets out a laugh and Jared thinks maybe his boyfriend just lost his mind.  “But please tell me you didn’t think I would leave you along to deal with everything on your own.”

Inside, Jared knows what kind of man Jensen is.  He knew before tonight started that Jensen wouldn’t take the easy way up.  He’s a stand up guy and Jared knows Jensen is going to stick with him.  Fear is what made him doubt that.  The farfetched thought that Jensen would be finished with their relationship because of the pregnancy is absurd.  There had never been any action in the past that would have caused Jared to logically think that.  His brain isn’t working on logic right now, though.  It is having a panic attack.  “I hoped you’d day.”  His voice cracks and he shakes his head.  “It’s more than that, though.  I knew you’d stay because you’re _you_.  But I don’t want to be someone you look back on and blame things on.”

“Jared, you can’t be that…you’re not.  You’re what my life is all about.  Without you in it then everything else will be out of whack.  Do you hear yourself?  It isn’t just your responsibility.  I put that,” he pressed a palm to Jared’s middle in reference to the baby, “there.  You can’t take all the credit.” 

When Jensen smiles at him, Jared’s sure that he had in fact lost his mind.  But the smile is contagious.  Even though it is tinged with fear and uncertainty, Jensen’s smiling Jared hard enough to get across that he’s definitely freaking out but he’s not going anywhere.  “What are we going to do, Jensen?”

“How pregnant are you?”

“Like…two months. Give or take a few days.”  Jared’s pretty sure their baby was conceived the last day of the spring semester because they’d gotten too drunk and were sloppy with the contraceptive responsibilities.  It could have been other times but that moment fit the bill better than any others and now there is a naked mole rat looking thing growing inside him.

“Then in seven months we have baby.  We cloth it, fed it and love it.  We ask our parents for help, because I know mine will give it and I’ve met yours enough to know that they will too.  And then I get a job as soon as I graduate so I can help support us.  It’s going to be hard but….I’ve never wanted something more.”

“Really?”  Jared clutches onto the hope Jensen is slinging his way.

“Really.”  The air between them crackles and Jensen frowns at the fact that Jared’s shaking.  “Aww, baby, come here.”  He pulls Jared in for a hug again and kisses the area behind his ear.  “I’m scared too but I guess it’s worse for you because you’re the one carrying our kid around.  But it’s going to be okay.  People have babies every day.  You’ll see.  It won’t be easy but that baby will be loved and the two of us can handle a lot more than people think.

“It will be okay, won’t it?”  Jared nuzzles into Jensen’s neck.  His boyfriend is so warm and safe and if Jared inhales deeply enough he finds that Jensen not only tastes of summer but he smells of it as well.  It’s comforting and he does feel embarrassed for freaking out over telling Jensen his news.  He knows Jensen’s still worried but he sounds confident enough the Jared believes him.  It’s the first time that a spark of happiness builds in his heart over the situation.  It’s small but it flickers brightly and Jared’s brain sidetracks enough to hope that their baby looks like Jensen.  He had a thousand more concerns he needs to voice but they can wait a minute.  At the moment he needs to figure out if things between he and Jensen are the same. 

Passion runs through them and they seal their lips together.  Jensen’s surprised at first but he puts his hands on Jared’s shoulders to steady him and they pace themselves until both men are falling apart at the seams thanks to the persistence of each other’s mouth.

Their emotionally drenched sobs turn to breathy pants and they fall back to the blanket while clawing at each other and swallowing each other whole.  Their hands find purchase on each other’s hips and they are there to stay.  When Jensen’s lands on Jared’s flat abdomen, Jared loses it.  He cries because he is happy and relieved but he also cries because he has no idea how he got so lucky.

When they pull away, Jared’s tear streaked face glimmers in the moonlight.  Jensen takes a moment to wipe Jared’s tears with the pad of his thumb and hold him close.  They look up at the star filled sky and Jared wonder’s what the universe has in store for him.

“Jay, look.  A shooting star.”  Jensen points towards where a streak of light crossed the sky.  “Make a wish.”

Jared doesn’t speak it out loud; he’s hesitant to think it too hard because he doesn’t want to jinx it.  It’ a good wish, however.  It isn’t selfish or materialistic but it’s the only thing Jared needs to be happy.

Jensen made a wish as well and Jared wonders if they made the same wish because they’re sporting identical thoughtful faces.

He knows well enough not to bank his future on the fate of a falling star but it’s a good place to start for tonight.  Jared’s got his whole life to make sure his wish comes true; he’ll do it.  For now, Jensen’s smile and the bright night sky are helping him believe that.  Like the stars, the possibilities are endless and tonight Jared feels like he just might be able to touch them.

**Author's Note:**

> There is now a companion piece: [A Mother's Role](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2175696)


End file.
